Imperfect Or Human

Written by: Melinda Schneider, LPC, Thalia House Admissions and Primary Therapist

You are imperfect. But guess what, SO AM I. Every single person, creature, or thing, is IMPERFECT.  Each one of us has our flaws, our quirks, our goofy imperfect tendencies that make us HUMAN. That’s right I said it, “imperfection is what makes us HUMAN”. Now, I know I am not sharing with you something you did not already know. Deep down we all understand that perfection is an unachievable goal. But sometimes I think we forget that if we were to achieve perfection (which again is not possible) it would actually make us NOT human.

So why do we try, sometimes at the cost of our physical life, to achieve perfection? Well, there are a lot of reasons some tries to achieve perfection and one blog post cannot touch on them all, but on a big picture note, people strive for perfection because we believe that perfection is what produces self-worth. Deep down, our culture has taught us that perfection produces worth, and worth is what creates connection, purpose, meaning, and all the things we want and value in life.

But what I want you to walk away from this post with, is the understanding that

                “Perfection does not produce self-worth. And self-worth does not produce connection or a meaningful life.”

In our attempts to achieve perfection, we are actually sacrificing the very things we are trying to gain. Self-worth derives from acceptance of who we are and of our imperfections. Connections are made when we open up about being imperfect, and we honor and validate the imperfections in other people. Meaning and purpose come when we let ourselves put energy into the things we value, instead of the attempt to perfect those things that don’t matter to us.

 So consider this week, how can I use my imperfections to build connections and relationships that matter in my life? How can I begin to honor and value other people’s imperfections? And how do I create meaning in my life without striving for perfection?